Anal sex is often viewed as a taboo topic. In recent years, society has progressed further towards acceptance of different lifestyles and has been more willing to accept sex into common conversation. However, anal sex has still eluded public acceptance as a norm. The truth is, though, that 40 percent or more of both men and women report having had anal sex in America.
The impact of shaming those who participate in anal practices is not only impractical, but dangerous. There are a lot of misconceptions about anal play. With such a noticeable increase in participation it is crucial to clear up some of these myths.
How long has anal sex been practiced? Hasn’t it always been a taboo practice?
No, the ancient Sumerians, the earliest civilization known, were very open about sexual practices. Anal was not taboo in Sumer and was often talked about in omen and religion.
Fast forward and you will find that the Greeks openly participated in anal. So too did the Romans. It was done homosexually, but also heterosexually and was often used as a means of birth control between men and women. There are even tales of lesbian anal interactions during ancient roman times.
In Japan, shunga depicts acts of anal between men and women as well as between men. The Moche people of Peru used pottery to depict anal sex.
It wasn’t until Christianity and the medieval age that anal truly became “taboo”. While some religions and cultures “allow” anal, many currently see it as sodomy, or unacceptable. This has been a large part of why it is such a hush topic.
Isn’t anal sex painful?
If anal sex is done incorrectly it can be painful. If it is rushed, it can be painful. If it is forced or unwanted, it is inappropriate and painful.
Anal sex, or solo anal play, should be not done without preparation and time. All participants should be willing and the receptive partner should be relaxed. Both persons should use plenty of lube and go VERY slowly. Easing into the anus once the receiving person is relaxed and the sphincter eases.
When we say that lube should be used, we do not mean saliva or vaseline. Definitely not coconut oil. There are specialized anal lubes that are made for anal play. We, personally, prefer Jo Premium for our anal play.
Do NOT use a numbing agent such as lidocaine gel. You do not want to numb the area. You want to be able to tell if something hurts as this is indicative of damage, tearing, or generally something wrong.
If you are going to use a finger, or fingers, make sure the fingernails are short and trimmed.
As with most things, anal play and sex requires practice. If something doesn’t feel good, it’s fine to stop and try again another time.
Anal sex doesn’t require a condom.
Some believe that just because you can’t get pregnant from anal sex, that a condom isn’t needed. This thought process can lead to sexually transmitted diseases, sometimes even more so due to the type of tissue in the anus and rectum. The thin mucous walls in the lower GI tract makes it easier in many cases to transfer an STI/STD to either partner.
We always recommend condom use for intercourse of any kind. Check out the Lelo Hex condom!
Won’t anal sex make your asshole loose?
This is a very common misconception, and very far from the truth. Yes, just like a vagina, the anus will relax and allow a penis or dildo into it easier as time passes. However, when the session or sex is done, it will return to it’s normal tightness.
Why do people enjoy anal?
For women, anal is enjoyable due to multiple reasons. It provides a “full” sensation that is different and allows the many nerve endings around the anal sphincters to be stimulated. In men, there is the same sensations as well as direct or indirect prostate stimulation that can lead to prostate orgasms.
Don’t you need to cleanse the anus first or you’ll poop or it’ll be dirty?
Nope, no. Yes, it is where you poop from. However, feces does not sit in the lower rectum. It only “presents” when it is time to have a bowel movement. The penis will not exit the anus covered in shit. An enema is not needed prior to anal sex.
That being said, the penis shouldn’t go into a vagina or mouth directly after anal. You also should avoid anal if you have had diarrhea or a GI illness recently.
It wouldn’t hurt to shower before anal sex and both should definitely shower after anal sex due to the microscopic bacterial environment that lives in the rectum.
What is all this talk about “eating ass”?
I spoke about this earlier but I know I need to discuss it further. Analingus, or oral sex performed on the anus, has become a bit popular in the meme culture. I can not condone it, but I know it will be done. Many sex positive influencers will advise using a dental dam or cutting a condom into a sheet to provide anal – tongue stimulation through. If you are going to avoid these pieces of advice, make sure to at least clean the area with soap and warm water first.
Are there anal toys?
Oh yes, many! There are dildos, butt plugs, prostate massagers, anal beads and vibrators! Check out Lelo for body safe adult products, including anal toys.
While anal sex and butt play is not being particularly spoken about, it is increasingly being included in the bedroom. Why is this?
One theory is that the increase in anal porn prevalence has lead to more desire and more fantasy involving the rear end. A study released by Pornhub showed that from 2009 to 2015 the search for anal related content increased 120%.
If more anal porn is being produced, though, it is usually due to demand. Where is the demand coming from? Some believe there has been an increased focus on the female rear and hips that has led to more heterosexual pressure for anal.
However, the actual source of all the focus may be rooted back to the fact that for many, it is still taboo. Yes, more porn from more social focus due to the simple fact it’s still frowned upon.
Due to religious reasons or the fear instilled by many American schools and their poor “sex education”, the “poop hole loop hole” is being utilized by many heterosexual couples as a birth control or virginity preserving method.
The point is, keeping this topic taboo and unspeakable can lead to very dangerous or unhealthy consequences. Keep talking about it and don’t let it scare you. Anal sex is not uncommon, or unnatural. Instead, it is very enjoyable and not forbidden.