Some time ago I was perusing the more devious parts of the internet when I came across an individual utilizing a large dildo which appeared to have been fashioned after the phallus of a horse. The size and nature of the silicone novelty wasn’t unusual, it was the grand finale. It was the first time I had witnessed an ejaculating sex toy. I had always been curious if there were such a product, but had never before observed one. Curiosity was my fuel and so began my journey to find out more. I was driven and began learning more about the fantasy sex business than I ever had before. Soon I was an observer to more tentacle dildos than I could have imagined. It was this exploration that led me to Bad Dragon.
If you are not familiar, Bad Dragon is a fantasy dildo and masturbator manufacturer who, with the support of a growing fan base, has reached the forefront of the industry as a whole. Recently, in an apparent exercise of wealth and strength, Bad Dragon became a lead sponsor of a major industry convention: Exxxotica. A move signalling their ability to play in the same ball park as other major novelty manufacturers. It is not uncommon to go on a streaming site like Pornhub, a cam site like Chaturbate or a private video sales site like ManyVids and find Bad Dragon products being utilized in enchanting ways. To further support this point, they were able to capture the AltPorn award for Novelty Toy of the Year. Not bad for such a niche fetish company.
It’s this level of popularity that has made Bad Dragon’s Cum Lube so significant. While they are not the only company producing a semen-like product, theirs has become the go-to in the alternative sex scene. The pearly white substance is water based with polyethylene oxide, titanium dioxide, potassium sorbate and citric acid for pH balancing. This allows the lube to be used with silicone toys, which is important for their platinum cured silicone products. The price of their product is on point as well, with a large 8oz bottle costing a mere $7. If you have nosy neighbors, fear not, packages are discreet. The overall presentation is amazing as well. When you breach the box you won’t be blasted in the face with packing peanuts. Instead you are met with colorful paper, free stickers and your order tucked away neatly and safely. The cum lube bottle is a matte black with their logo in a dark red glossy ink. Instructions, ingredients and warnings are printed in white ink and on the bottle neck is an expiration date. This may seem dull to some, but it shows the company’s character. Bad Dragon have taken some small, but extra steps to ensure their product is used appropriately and safely with the customer in mind.
When you first squeeze out the lube you may be surprised. It is not like your typical lube. You will initially find that the product is hard to separate from the bottle’s opening and needs to be severed. Expect to end up using more than you initially plan. Even just the slightest squeeze and it will end up pulling itself out in a larger blob. This is part of it’s appeal, though. If you were to coat your hand and spread your fingers it’d look very alien in nature with a goo spread between each finger. While it is expected to be relative to semen, it’s more befitting of an alternative scenario with extraterrestrials, monsters or preternatural creatures.
I have used this product with my girlfriend and on my own. She loved it and has opted for it’s use multiple times. During intercourse it provides a warming sensation with friction, however, it stays very cool where it isn’t in motion. Unlike most lubes, it’s very thick and maintains it’s viscous nature even when it starts to dry. When the water has evaporated out, it continues to be stringy but still provides sufficient lubrication. When all is finished and you’re ready to clean up, it be quite hard to remove. Adding water makes it slick again and isn’t easy to remove by soap and water alone. I recommend rinsing several times and then using a towel to wipe away anything that is left over. There is a slight smell to it, but it isn’t strong and it doesn’t linger after use.
Despite being very thick, it is still discreet when using it. I initially expected it to sound like a bowl of cooked macaroni being stirred. Instead, it was no louder than your typical lube.
I am giving the Bad Dragon Cum Lube a rating of 9.0. I understand that for some it may not be the most appealing product out there, but I would assume you’d know what you were getting into before purchasing. I took 0.5 off for the product appearance, though there is a clear version which may be more visually attractive. Another 0.5 points were taken due to it’s messy clean up. It is difficult to pour and the aftermath is not easy to deal with.
Overall I was very happy with this lube. It’s faults are perhaps a side effect of it’s purpose. This product is seemingly made to be messy and unique. If you have ever wondered what it would be like to have intercourse with a dragon, ghostly coitus with ectoplasic climax, or beastly insemination then this product is definitely for you. Just remember to bring a towel.